the birth story

so it's OCTOBER...almost november...

carter is 6months old and i've decided that before i can publish this blog, i must have one more entry...the birth story!

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on tuesday, 4.13.10, i had a biophysical profile and non stress test at the hospital to check the baby and make sure it was okay for him to stay in there a little longer. while there, the midwife on call stripped my membranes (slightly unbeknownst to me). i was allowed to leave, which NO ONE thought would happen (we had the hospital bag in the car), but they did. they ordered me to return on thursday morning to repeat the same tests. that night i had some cramping and a little bit of sleep.

on wednesday night, 4.14.10, i had an induction acupuncture appointment (my first ever acupuncture visit). that night i had EVEN LESS sleep, but a belly full of (baby and) maggiano's spaghetti and marinara!

on thursday, 4.15.10, we went to the hospital at 8am to have another BPP and NST done. i was having contractions at that point--they registered on the equipment during the tests. surprisingly, they let me leave again, but this time, scheduled me for an induction on sunday night.

around noon, we left the hospital and went to ikea to meet with hallie, who was hanging out on that side of town because she knew i was close (and didn't think that they'd let me leave AGAIN). the three of us walked around ikea in hopes of coaxing carter out. the contractions continued throughout the day--increasing in intensity and frequency. i remember watching modern family with kenny to keep my mind off what was going on and making him pause the show with each contraction.

around 6pm i was really feeling it and was feeling scared and ready to give up, although i don't think that giving up was really an option at that point. ;) i talked to hallie on the phone and she calmed me down while kenny made us dinner (beer can chicken and salad with cucumbers in it is all i remember). i barely ate a thing (but it didn't stop me from vomitting during labor! yuck!).

kenny timed my contractions between 9:30 and 10:30 pm and they were four minutes apart, lasting a minute, for an hour--the sign that it was time to go to the hospital.

we took a quick shower and got to the hosptial around 11:15pm. we checked in--it was all so surreal--and got settled in. hallie met us soon after and got me up and walking around--i was "a good 1 cm" when we were admitted.

at 2:30am i was at 2 cm.

at 3:30am, the midwife (that i disliked the most in the group) came in the room and announced that she was starting me on pitocin--no discussion. we asked her to leave the room and hallie told me she thought i would be in the next stage of labor within an hour. hearing "another hour" shut me down; i didn't think i could do it another hour without medication. (looking back now, i could have. i didn't realize how quickly time was passing before i got the epidural. time slowed WAY DOWN after the anesthesia kicked in.) one of the nurses suggested that they first give me the epidural AND THEN start the pitocin--i'm glad someone was thinking!

i got the epidural and pitocin around 4am.

at 6:30am the midwife broke my water--i was 4 cm.

the notes we took days after the birth stop here, so i'll have to do the rest by memory...

all i remember now is sally, the only midwife i had yet to meet in the group, came in around 8am and introduced herself. she checked me and i was at either 6 or 8cm, i don't remember for sure now.

sally came back in around 10:30am and asked me if i felt any pressure--a sign that it's time to push. i said i didn't feel a thing as she looked under the sheet, preparing myself for another few hours. sally was kind of taken aback--apparently it was push time! next thing i knew, the room was bustling with about 10 people, prepping for carter's arrival.

at 11:23am, carter brian zoodsma was born. i pushed for 27 minutes--he was out that fast! they wheeled a mirror around so that i could see what was going on during the delivery. i remember:

...being complimented on my toe nails and bragging how i painted them myself days before in spite of my largeness
...carter's little mohawk sticking out before we saw any other part of him
...laughing and joking with the midwife and nurses in the room which would NOT have happened had i skipped the epidural
...posing for a "push" face picture
...kicking it into high gear when sally said there was meconium
...seeing him leave my body, without pushing, while i looked at my abdomen
...that i had a heart shaped placenta (that i wish now i would've gotten a print of)

i told kenny that i would gladly deliver another baby hours after carter was born. the pain of (a medicated) childbirth wears off that quickly. ;) and here we are today...

our most recent family photo...taken 10.16.10

2 weeks postpartum

it's been two weeks! wow! i wrote last week's sweet-lovey-dovey post and then went on to have a few emotional, trying, all-i-felt-like-was-a-boob days. thankfully, things have died down a bit and i'm a little less dramatic these days.

yesterday was heather voltz's wedding (i started this post on friday, before the wedding, but i'm finishing it on saturday, after the wedding) and i was able to convince kenny that it would be okay if we went--it wouldn't harm carter that much and i'm so glad that he agreed! it was nice for me to get dressed, do my hair (yes, the easy-wet-curly look still counts as my hair being "done"), and see some old (and new) friends.

it was really nice and good for me overall, but it wasn't about me! heather looked absolutely beautiful--as did her bridal party. even with the "50% chance of rain", the evening was beautiful! i can't wait to see reid's photos!

1 week postpartum

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my rings still don't fit...

and...

it's SO WEIRD having all this extra skin on my body!

a week ago today...

i gave birth.

i gave birth to a beautiful, perfect, sweet baby boy.

seven days ago i became a mommy, something i didn't think i was ready for but soon came to realize that id really been waiting for my whole life to be.

before carter was born, i was so worried that id be one of those women who don't love their baby immediately or that he'd be an "ugly" baby. i could not have been more wrong.

as soon as i laid eyes on carter brian, i memorized his face and was in awe that kenny and i created such a beautiful life. okay, maybe i'm romanticizing it a little bit--or rather, don't really remember how it all actually went down in those first few minutes, but there are a few things that i remember for certain and hope that i never forget:

(1) my first glimpse of carter: his mohawk

(2) laughing in between pushes and praising the epidural i'd received

(3) watching my stomach as his body left my body

(4) the softness of his skin

while i was laboring at home with kenny, i told kenny that he better enjoy this baby because there was NO WAY that i was going to do this again. about a minute after carter was born, i informed kenny that i would do it again, as many times as he wanted, now that i've experienced childbirth with an epidural, and now that i've seen, smelled, and held something only him and i can make.
it hasn't been all puppy dogs and rainbows, but it's definitely been worth it. i want to keep this post all positive, so i'll save my breastfeeding woes and sleep deprivation for another post.

one of my most favorite things to do with carter is to smell his yawns. i know it sounds crazy, but i've never smelled something so sweet in all my life.

here's carter and daddy celebrating carter's "one week birthday". it was all daddy's idea, which makes me smile and count how lucky i am for having such a wonderful husband and great father for our son.

carter FINALLY made it!

carter brian zoodsma
born friday, april 16th, 2010
at 11:23 am
weighing 7 lbs 11 ozs
measuring 21.5 inches long

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maybe one day i'll get around to writing out the whole "birth story"...

until then, to see updates on carter, visit carter's blog.

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and before i forget, we must settle who won "a day of no diaper changes."

our predictions:

kz - april 10th, 2010; 7lbs 2ozs; 18in long

az - march 23rd, 2010; 7lbs 9ozs; 21in long

i guess that means that mommy won! yay! but it doesn't seem right to actually claim the prize. maybe i'll use it if i'm sick one day. ;)

today's biophysical profile

today was the dreaded appointment, but i'm happy to report that things went very well.

we started with an ultrasound. the tech checked many things...one of the "bonus" checks she did was to see how big carter was. according to her calculations, he's about 9lbs 2ozs. thankfully, these are merely (slightly-educated) guesses and his actual size can vary up to a pound or more on either side of the guess--er calculation.

i'm thinking carter will be just at 8lbs at the largest. :) he'll be a good-size baby and should fill out his newborn-size coming home outfit beautifully (that is, if i can get it on him, as my mom has so kindly pointed out numerous times [and why he now has three possible coming home outfits that are of varying degrees of ease to put on a fussy newborn.]) :) we also got a couple of shots of carter during the ultrasound. here's my favorite.

{{his nose looks HUGE and his lips are SO pouty, but i'm not gonna lie, i secretly hope that the ultrasound is over-exaggerating the size of his nose or that he at least grows into it in the next few days because it is NOT proportional compared to the rest of his face. ;) }}

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after the ultrasound, i had my non-stress test done. i was monitored for maybe 20-30ish minutes and they let me drink apple juice during the test. i guzzled two containers of ice cold apple juice to help him move around so the test would finish as quickly as possible; i'd been warned in the beginning that the test could take as long as 2 hours and i was getting hungry for some mexican food! here i am before it got started, courtesy of kz's iphone.


after the monitoring, the midwife came in to discuss the results of the BPP, discuss our options, and perform an internal exam. the midwife on-call was the chick who told me to lay off the carbs after i'd gained 14 lbs in 6 wks around the holidays, but it was cool--she was super awesome! she told us that carter scored an 8 out of 10 and that they only thing that he didn't do was imitate breathing, which apparently is common and no reason for concern.

the midwife then did the internal exam and i *think* she stripped my membranes. she said she was going to give me a "cervical massage" and shortly thereafter the discomfort ensued. the midwife said that i was still about the same--a "good one" cm dilated and 70-75% effaced. she said that there was a good chance that i had progressed from last week because she knows from past experience that the midwife who did my internal exam last week is very generous when giving out the numbers (i.e. the midwife last week would say 5cm but the midwife i saw today would say 2cm). whatever. it is what it is. i'm not worried about it at this point.

all in all, the tests done today bought us time--carter has less than 48 hours to make his appearance on his own so he better get a move on! the midwife today said that i should do whatever i can do to help him on his way--that there's a good chance that they will not let me leave on thursday. she suggested that i take some time and meditate and talk to carter and let him know that we are ready for him. i know it sounds a little bit out there, but i think she's right. now, if only i could say that and mean it...

i'm better now...so i'll talk about the weekend, etc....

((no, i didn't watch gossip girl yet, but i plan on watching it soon...while i give my belly a 30 min massage with a mixture of clary sage oil and almond oil to try to induce labor naturally.))

...friday night...
DATE NIGHT!! we keep treating ourselves to all of these date nights, thinking that each one will be the last and then, nothing happens with carter and before we know it, another week has rolled around. :)

we went to wasabi for dinner and had a horrible-for-us but delicious-tasting hibachi dinner. mmmm... then, on the way home, we swung by cold stone for my new favorite--a kids size cup of chocolate ice cream with chocolate chips mixed in and a kid cone on top! double mmm... and then we watched two episodes of breaking bad. at the rate we're watching them and at the rate carter is NOT coming out, we're gonna be all caught up and ready to watch this season while we're in the hosptial, which won't be possible!

...saturday...
we slept in and went to mimi's for lunch and ran a few errands. on the way home, kenny's mom called us and invited us over to cheri's. we had a nice time...i was able to get in the hot tub (i say "hot tub", but the heater hadn't be turned on, so it really wasn't a hot tub, it was more of a kiddie pool with bubbles). it was very nice!

after hanging out at cheri's, we stopped for pizza at red elephant and then made our way home. we watched "glory road" on apple tv...a feel-good movie about texas western university and how they were the first school to start five black players in an NCAA tournament.

...sunday...
the most notable part of sunday, besides kenny being a super-amazing husband and doing a bunch of little things around the house and making most of dinner, was how kenny was a super-amazing husband and researched more about clary sage oil and insisted on giving me a nice long massage with the oil mixture (to induce labor) before a nice long bath with clary sage oil. :) i felt great after all of it, but carter didn't budge. :( oh well, i plan on breaking out the breast pump later this evening to see if some nipple stimulation will do the trick, that is, if my belly massage doesn't do the trick! :)

before i go, i'll leave you with a pic. i didn't bother putting on a different "outfit" for this pic...i just decided to take it in what i was already wearing. told ya i was feeling lazy.

{{-7 days to go.}}
{{{7 days?? 'til carter's evicted.}}}

hmm...blah...41 wks...

so...

today is 41 wks.

i'm feeling pretty down/bummy/not motivated to do anything and tired (even though i slept from 12am - 9:30am...with about 8 pee breaks in between of course).

i keep thinking about the appointment tomorrow. hallie seems to think that they're likely going to find a reason to induce me. i keep on holding out hope that they'll at least let me come home and wait it out for a few more days...or at least i thought so. i'm starting to get a little bit impatient about this whole thing. maybe it'd be best if they did just induce me and get him out.

one of my tickers has said for the last week that i should basically chill out, most first babies come 8 days after their due date if they're not induced beforehand. well, that would mean carter should be here tomorrow. i asked kenny, what if i start having contractions/am in the early stages of labor but have to go for my stupid appointment tomorrow morning at tgh before i'm ready to be at the hospital. i could totally see that happening. whatever. i worry about too much.

i think i'm gonna go watch the last two episodes of gossip girl i have on dvr. maybe that'll cheer me up.

maybe i'll post a 41 wk picture later if i'm feeling up to it. but i refuse to update my pregnancy belly progression photo...unless they let me go to 42 wks and i can take a photo next monday to keep it even.

the progression of a belly during pregnancy

40 wk appt

yesterday was my 40 wk appointment.

unfortunately, there hasn't been any progress from last week. me and carter are still in the same position(s).

they scheduled a non-stress test and ultrasound for next tuesday morning (if he's still in there). hopefully my fluid level and placenta will look good and they'll send me home to wait a little longer, but there's a chance that they'll admit me and induce me then.

the last comparison picture??

40 wk update

so here we are. i made it to 40 wks! who would've thought it? now we just have to wait and see if carter will come out on his own (like everyone seems to think) or if he'll need a little facilitation. i'm REALLY hoping that my body or his body or whoever's body is in charge of him coming out on his own gets it going before the time is up for him being in my belly!

here's a quick update on predictions before i get on with the update:

my dad: this thursday, april 8th
kennyz: this saturday, april 10th
lauren (midwfie): this saturday, april 10th
hallie (doula): sometime this week

who knows, but i'm hoping that i have at least a few more days to wrap some things up around here...
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{{0 days to go.}}
{{{14 days until "forced" induction.}}}

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how far along: 40 weeks (and 1 day since i didn't get a chance to post this yesterday...we were busy celebrating our 2 year anniversary)
total weight gain/loss: +36.4 lbs
circumference at belly button: 40 inches at 40 weeks. when kenny did the measuring he was like "uhhh...you're not gonna like this" but i kinda like it--it's symmetrical.
how big baby is: he should be the size of a watermelon these days--or at least that's what i keep telling myself so i don't feel so bad about the weight gain! he could weigh as much as 9.2 lbs right now and be as long as 20.9 inches! my guess is that he is about that long, but a coupla pounds under that weight.
maternity clothes: or kenny's clothes when i'm around the house...since most of my comfy maternity clothes are packed in the hospital bag.
stretch marks: not yet i don't think--or at least that's what the midwife said last week--she couldn't believe how good i looked for my state of pregnancy. i'm not gonna lie...it made me feel a little good inside for about a nanosecond. i guess she failed to look at the chart and see that i've gained nearly 40 pounds!
sleep: blah! i sleep, but not for longer than 2 hours at a time.
best moment this week: i'd just say this whole past weekend in general...easter at the beach was great and then our anniversary day and night yesterday was awesome! i'm so lucky to have such a wonderful husband!!
movement: yep...he's still moving in there...but a lot of times lately his movements result in him hitting nerves in my pelvis which result in horrible pains in my inner thigh or butt cheek...good thing they typically only last a second or two!
food cravings: not really
gender: a little boy
labor signs: nope, at least not for real. i was having pretty regular braxton hicks the other night at dinner at bonefish, but they settled down once i started moving around (and got some chocolate ice cream with chocolate chips from coldstone in me)!
belly button: i guess it's still in--it looks REALLY CREEPY though. i don't know if that part of my body will ever be normal again, i just HOPE that my belly button goes back to being in the MIDDLE of my belly as it should be.
what i miss: sleeping through the night...my old posture...my old clothes...being thin...wearing high heels...non-arthritic fingers and hands...
what i am looking forward to: i don't know that i'm really looking forward to giving birth, but i am looking forward to meeting our little guy...seeing him...hearing him...smelling him...and being a mommy. :)

our easter sunday

yesterday was easter and due to carter's upcoming due date, we decided that we didn't want to venture too far from tgh in the event i needed the hospital. this meant that we could not go up to the farm in jacksonville to see kenny's sister cyndi (where and whom i just LOVE). while i was bummed about missing out on seeing kenny's family, i don't think i would've enjoyed the long drive up and back--i probably would've been pretty tired and grouchy.

since, we couldn't make that trip, we asked kenny's sister cheri what she was up to (since 30 minutes from our house was about as far as we were willing to go), but drew had come down with a fever after their return home from their wonderful vacation in jackson hole.

we were already seeing my family for dinner so we just needed "plans" until about 4pm.
so we thought...

and we thought...

and we decided to pack a cooler and go to the beach just the two of us!
we wound up at fort desoto (yes, i realize that this is more than 30 minutes from our house, but shhhhh) and we had a great time (even though my favorite beach chair is a little too low to the ground at 9 months after getting up and down to pee every 20 minutes). :)

since we went to the beach, i was able to get this comparison shot, which i was VERY HAPPY about--that is, until i got home and looked at the photo i was comparing it to and realized i looked like a whale on the beach all day. oh well, i felt like i was rockin' the two-piece while i was there and i guess that's all that matters. the poor people whose retinas i burned, well, hopefully the damage i did isn't irreparable.

he's DUE!! (and we've been married 2 yrs today!)

carter is due today--i made it to 40 wks!

so many people thought that carter would come early...and here we are. now we just have to wait and see if he'll leave the womb on his own in the next two weeks!

::fingers crossed::

it's officially april...

so no blue tinted jewels for me...

at least not for this baby...

but wait,

are there blue diamonds??

j/k i wouldn't want colored diamonds, because then it's not a diamond--it's a diamond trying to be like something else. plus, aquamarine is SO MUCH cheaper than a blue diamond would be (if they existed)...i wouldn't be able to justify it.

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on another note...

i promise that if "the call" or "the text" goes out today--it WILL NOT be an april fool's day joke!

39 wk pic and appt update

{{7 days to go.}}

yesterday was my 39 wk appointment.

i opted to have the internal exam done so at least i would have two points (since i'll likely still be pregnant at my 40 wk appointment and have another internal done then).

yesterday's results:

75% effaced

fingertip dilated

he's head down, his face on my backbone (yay!) and at the -1 station (i'm not sure if that's how you say it, but you get the picture).

i saw a midwife that i'd seen one other time before. she was alright--she has a funny accent--and i got the privilege of hearing her tear the lady in the room next to me a new one for gaining 10 lbs in 2 weeks but i digress...

this particular midwife seems to think that carter will be a "good size baby". her guess is 8 lbs (and change maybe)--which is news to me/us since the last i'd heard (from a different midwife--my favorite midwife in the practice actually) was that carter would be in the high 6s to mid 7s. so basically it's a waiting game and no one has an effin' clue 'til he actually comes out and gets weighed. :)

we'll just have to wait and see...

weekend recap and then some...

...friday...
my lunch date with nikki was SUPER FUN and SUPER DUPER DELICIOUS! we decided on cheesecake factory (which is sort of against my religion) due to NUMEROUS visits of waiting ridiculous amounts of time for a table, but man, was i glad that she was 51% cheesecake 49% california pizza kitchen! i got this bacon, chicken avocado sandwich thingy that was totally NOT good for me but tasted amazing and then we split a piece of red velvet cheesecake which was quite possibly one of the greatest things i've ever tasted! mmmmm...my mouth is watering as i type...

...friday night...
heather v's bridal shower was on friday and it was FABULOUS! i had an AWESOME TIME seeing old friends (and new ones at that!) and being around the excitement of an upcoming wedding! i must give carter a "public" thanks for staying in my uterus long enough for me to be a part of the festivities, so "thanks, bud for letting mommy have something she wanted and don't think that mommy doesn't realize that those rib kicks all night into saturday morning were your way of punishing me for standing around and visiting at the shower! it's okay though, i forgive you. oh, and p.s., you can come out now." ;)

...saturday...
we got the car seat(s) inspected and we're all good to go now!

...saturday night...
kenny and i decided that we NEEDED to have a "date night" since carter's arrival is imminent and there's a *chance* (however slight it may be) that this past weekend was the last weekend before carter REALLY becomes a part of our world.

since it was going to be a nice night, we wanted a place with outdoor seating. we decided on giving restaurant BT a try. the atmosphere was nice but pretty much everything else about the experience stunk, but let's not dwell on the negatives...

we came home and rented "the blindside" on apple tv and LOVED the movie! it's one of the few that we'll actually purchase, it was that good.

...sunday...
was a bit of a lazy day that ended with a chocolate with chocolate chips mixed in like it from coldstone. double mmmm for REAL chocolate ice cream and sugar cones! mmm...mmm...

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kenny and i have spent a lot of time talking about carter coming. we realized while on our date on saturday that the full moon will be here soon AND a cold front JUST came through. we were talking about how he could be here before march is out, which would work out perfectly since then carter's birthstone would be aquamarine--which means nothing for him, but could mean pretty blue-tinted jewels for me. ;)

when i woke up this morning i felt pretty down though. after all that talking about how "soon" we would be able to hold and meet our little guy, it was pretty disappointing when i really thought about it and realized that likely, he won't be here for another few weeks. :( sad face because i want to meet him sooner rather than later and sad face because i'm DONE with being pregnant. :(

i just got home from my 38 week appointment

...they offered to do an internal exam but i declined. i figured there was no point in stressing myself out over numbers at this point since it is still potentially 4wks before he receives his final eviction notice. i'm not sure what i'll do next week--if i'll take them up on the internal or if i'll wait until it's mandatory at 40wks.

...carter's heartbeat was 145 which is lower than usual for him, but apparently that's what happens as we get closer to the end.

...i was measuring at 36wks, which freaked me out for a second, since i was suddenly measuring behind after being right on track the whole pregnancy, but apparently this is normal/good--it means he's dropping further. yay! maybe he will come out on his own--before 42weeks. only time will tell. ;)

38 wks today...

{{14 days to go.}}

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how far along: 38 weeks
total weight gain/loss: +35.6 lbs
circumference at belly button: 39.5 inches
how big baby is: on his way to watermelon size!! 6.2 lbs and 18.9 inches long!
maternity clothes: always!
stretch marks: not any red ones
sleep: disturbed but essential! i'm SO tired lately and by the time it's bedtime, all i can think is, "carter, please don't come tonight because mommy isn't rested enough to deal with childbirth."
best moment this week: seeing the beautiful maternity photos that chenelle took of us...celebrating kenny's last birthday as just "married" and not "married w/kid"
movement: i've noticed during my "disturbed" nights that he is oh-so-active during the middle of the night--which is not a good sign for when he's no longer in my uterus!
food cravings: not really
gender: BOY!
labor signs: nope
belly button: still in technically, but the top right (from my view when looking down) is slightly protruding...
what i miss: not having to wear a bra...
what i am looking forward to: heather v's bridal shower (yes, i realize that is totally NOT pregnancy-related, except that i hope carter doesn't come between now and friday night so i can attend)

the parts of pregnancy that i want to...

**preserve**
...the way kenny rubs my belly and talks to carter (there's a good chance that carter will know kenny's voice over mine, as kenny talks to him WAY MORE OFTEN than i do. the only thing i can think that i have said directly to carter the whole nine months is: "hey buddy" if he suddenly kicks/punches/rolls or "hey, whatcha doin in there?" when he moves around all funny and i feel like my belly button is going to open up and he's going to crawl out)

...reading carter a story every night before bed, me on my back and kenny next to me, head somewhere between my bump and breasts, him reading a page and me reading a page

...how carter almost always immediately begins kicking if we're laying in spoon and kenny puts his left arm on the middle of my side-bump, as if to say, "dad, i know she's your wife and you want to cuddle with her, but i'm kinda laying right here, so MOVE!" :)

...how kenny lays with me in spoon as we fall asleep with his hand on my side-bump, until carter kicks him so much that he can't get to sleep, so kenny changes positions. if only I could change positions and fall asleep...LOL
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**PERISH**
...the inability to eat MY OWN tuna sandwich from panera bread. yes, someone WILL BE going for a panera run while i'm in postpartum!

...being able to roll over in bed...bend over...put on my socks and shoes...get a pan out of the bottom kitchen cabinets...without GROANING!

...the 32.2 lbs (and counting) of baby-related weight i've gained

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i'm sure there's more, but i think it's important for my psyche that there be fewer number of things i want to perish than preserve. ;)

((our last)) st patty's day table for two

for some bizarre reason, i decided a few weeks ago to make this year's st patty's day "special." i'm not exactly sure where this idea came from, but i think it might have something to do with the few bouts of "it's now or never"-itis that have recently plagued me.

kenny and i have NEVER done ANYTHING for st patty's day--quite frankly, i'm a bit of a bore when it comes to "get-plastered" holidays--so i thought i'd just do something small to celebrate the day other than wear green. (thanks to chenelle for the shirt i got numerous compliments on today.)

our "special" st patty's day meal:
homemade irish soda bread
roasted potatoes with bacon
roasted chicken with bacon and cabbage
green Bud Golden Wheat beer for kenny
green Sprite for me ;)
((holy COW that is a LOT of food on our plates!!))

dinner was followed by relaxing on the couch, watching 16 and pregnant. yes, i LOVE that show and yes, it's because it makes me feel better about myself (about becoming a mom in the very near future). don't judge me. it's not like you don't watch maury or dr phil at the end of a rough day, just so you can say "my day sucked, but their LIFE sucks."

i almost forgot about dessert. sadly there are no photos, but there *were* oatmeal lace cookies with dipping sauce. they were okay--nothing special really. i think that the items with bacon in them turned out the greatest. maybe that's because i just recently started buying pig bacon. turkey bacon is just NOT the same!

some of our favorite pics...thanks again chenelle belle!

37 wks

the baby in my belly is officially full term today and on his way to becoming the size of a watermelon.

{{21 days to go.}}

...

yesterday was my 36 wk check up! everything went well and we found out that carter seems to be prepared for the final descent. the midwife said that he is definitely head down and "really low". does that mean that i could "go" at any second?? i hope not. but it's pretty crazy that he's gonna be here soon (i use "soon" loosely here--both "soon" as in any second and "soon" as in 26 days). and i feel it--not in my lady area, but in my body in general--or in my heart or soul or something. i can just feel it that he'll be a part of our lives in the very near future.

anyway, i really hope that the midwife that i saw yesterday is on-call when we go into labor. she is definitely my favorite midwife i've seen, but my luck, she won't be. in reality, it doesn't make a difference which of the midwives are on-call, all that matters is that both kenny and hallie are there (and in that order). they're gonna be the ones with me through each contraction...i know right, lucky them, huh? :)

speaking of hallie, we're meeting with her again this sunday and i'm really excited to discuss things more! i'm really nervous about this whole "birthing experience"--in fact, i graced kenny with a mini breakdown last night via telephone around midnight. i figure i've been pretty good this whole pregnancy and if i have a bad day or hour here or there, it's okay (even though i'm fairly certain that my hormone levels are pretty stable at this point and that's not a valid excuse anymore).

i think it was just bothering me that he was gone for work and i'm nine months pregnant and feeling very unsure and not-very-confident about our son making his way out of my uterus and into this world at what feels like any moment. i let myself get all worked up over the thought of him coming at any second, even though i KNOW that first time moms typically deliver at 41 weeks and 1 day and i've still got lots of time based on those statistics, but still...geez...okay i need to move on from this...

the midwife also said that carter feels like he's gonna be an average-size baby...likely under eight pounds--probably between the mid-six and high-sevens. i guess that's encouraging--i'll be passing a honeydew through my vagina, as opposed to a watermelon...oh joy...

18 wks vs. 36 wks

36 wks

here's me...i'm officially nine months pregnant...and REALLY looking pregnant!

{{28 days to go.}}

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how far along: 36 weeks exactly
total weight gain/loss: +31.8 lbs
waist circumference: 39 inches! yowzers!
how big baby is: the size of a honeydew! 5.8 lbs and 18.7 in!
maternity clothes: mandatory
stretch marks: not yet--at least not red ones!
sleep: interrupted
best moment this week: carter kicking the crap outta kenny's hand (that was on my belly) as we were falling asleep in spoon...LOL
movement: he has his periods of wakefulness
food cravings: not really
gender: boy
labor signs: i'm gonna say no...but i should look into what these "labor signs" might involve...i'm assuming, my water breaking and regular contractions (but i really need to read about what contractions will feel like so i know if/when i'm having them)
belly button: barely in! if i'm trying to sit up from laying on my back, the whole belly button area turns into this weird cone-shape and it makes me think that carter might be a cone head...
what i miss: taking deep deep breaths that completely fill my lungs
what i am looking forward to: (1) seeing the maternity photos taken this weekend by my chenelle belle (2) meeting with the doula again on sunday (3) kenny safely going to and coming home from his LAST TRIP before carter comes
milestone: ??

maternity photos--check!!

chenelle did GREAT today! i can't wait to see the 725 photos on the "big screen"--hopefully on tuesday!

but now, i'm officially exhausted.

plans for the rest of the night include

...baked ziti

...chocolate covered strawberries

...a bath

...a movie in bed

can i skip the part where i have to "make" dinner and clean up and go straight to the chocolate covered strawberries and bath??

maternity photos!!

i'm SO excited! tomorrow chenelle will be doing her first ever maternity shoot with kz and i and i can hardly wait! i just finished picking out our outfits and making the shot list, now i just have to show kz what i'm thinking and let him veto at will! ((he's already said no to anything that would require him to be completely naked. at least i was able to get him to agree on a few shirtless shots.))

i REALLY hope that i'm still feeling this excited tomorrow. yesterday was not a good day for me and i want tomorrow to be like today. today i felt sexy (it probably helped that i wore pink all day, including my "future milf" tshirt that i can't wear in public...except to cold stone creamery really late at night with a jacket over it). yesterday i felt ginormous and just plain ugly and every bit of 8.999999 months pregnant!

tomorrow WILL BE like today and i WILL FEEL beautiful, even if my makeup doesn't turn out super fabulous since i decided to do it myself ((YIKES!!))

putting away the gifts from the friends shower

....looking at the newborn size diapers used to make my diaper cake

it's starting to hit me...

another living thing is going to soon inhabit our space. there's still so much to do to prepare for his arrival that could happen anytime in the next 34 (days until i'm due) +14 (days the midwives will allow him to stay in past my due date) = 48 days!

he's moving around like crazy in my belly as i type this--i guess he liked my egg salad sandwich, tomato soup and two samoas. ;) i bet he REALLY liked the samoas just like his mama does. :)

happy 35/35 to me!

if you know me at all, you know that i'm weird about numbers and you should understand why 35/35 is so neat to me!

today i am 35 wks pregnant and i have 35 days to go! wowzers! it's crazy to think that carter will be here in just over one month! last night i had a dream i saw his face--he looked exactly like his daddy!! :D


i thought it would be fun to take a photo in the same shirt and pose as early on in pregnancy when i was wearing the "pregnant pillow." i H.A.T.E. the way i look right now--i am so frickin' fat--especially in the face--and so i almost didn't post this comparison shot...

the friends shower

this past saturday chenelle, nikki and anitra hosted the friends shower. these girls did an amazing job putting the party together and a good time was had by all!

a shout out to stephanie for helping make this decoration happen!

how cute is the diaper cake?? thanks anitra!
and how about the saying on the cake?? perfection!

gifts!!

there were so many clothes that they wouldn't all fit on the couch!

with the wonderful hostesses!

with tara and susan
it's crazy to think that we've known each other for 15 years!

________________________

unfortunately i didn't get pictures with all of the wonderful guests who came... :( ...but many more attended the party!

we played three games:
1) name that baby food
2) name that melted candy bar in the diaper
3) how big is mommy's belly

stephanie dominated--she won two outta three of the games--the first and third game. she got nine out of the ten baby food items correct and then she was within like a sixteenth of an inch of how big my belly was! that just leaves the second game...and guess who won?? i did! now i may not know much about baby food--but i sure know my candy bars! my prize was a bottle of "purple cowboy" wine. how cute is that??

after the shower was finished, we'd made plans for the hostesses and their "others" and kenny and myself to go out to dinner at pf changs. i'm not sure if the girls were more excited about the shower or the dinner...j/k. :) it was a great way to end a great day!

we have a doula!

last friday night we finally met hallie in person. honestly, after i spoke to her on the phone, it was pretty much a done deal in my mind--she was going to be our doula, but she wanted to meet in person and make sure we clicked face-to-face since we'll be seeing a lot of her face in the delivery room. plus, kenny was still a little skeptical as to whether it really was "necessary" to have a doula since we both originally wanted it to be only him and i in the room during labor and delivery (and medical staff as necessary of course). after i decided that we needed a doula though, he still wasn't so sure.

the meeting went well but i couldn't read kenny during the meeting and we didn't come up with a secret signal beforehand (yes, we do that--or at least talk about doing it), so when he asked if i was ready to sign the contract, i said we'd get back to her because i didn't know if he was just saying that because he knew that i wanted a doula and he was counting it as my "free pass." after debriefing at dinner (mmmmm Seasons 52) we decided that we wanted her to be there on the big day. plus, we learned some stuff that we never would've thought to do just from our short meeting with her which seemed to impress kenny.

we're trying to set up our next meeting with her (time is winding down though) where she'll come to our house (so she knows where it is, since i'd like to labor at home as long as possible before going to the hospital) and we'll get into things a little more.

knowing that hallie is available also alleviates some of my fears of going into labor while kenny is out of town in a few weeks. i know that the average amount of time that a first time mom is pregnant is 41 wks 1 day, but there's still a chance that i could go into labor while he's in atlanta. i probably shouldn't think of such things, but i have to always be prepared so i know what to do in the event of an emergency... :)

34 wks

{{42 days to go.}}

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how far along: 34 weeks 1 day
total weight gain/loss: +29 lbs
waist circumference: this must remain a secret until after the friends shower...
how big baby is: almost the size of a honeydew! about 17.2 inches and 4.2 lbs!
maternity clothes: yep...pretty much all the time
stretch marks: nope
sleep: we'll just say "interrupted"
best moment this week: reading carter his first story with kenny
movement: this morning it felt like he might've had the hiccups after my super-nutritious mcdonalds breakfast of an egg and cheese biscuit, a hashbrown and some cinnamon melts (some pregnant lady was RAVING about these the other day, so i thought i'd try 'em. verdict: not worth the calories for the taste)
food cravings: not really
gender: boy
labor signs: it's still too early for that!
belly button: still in
what i miss: being able to have a full day and not be exhausted at 7pm!
what i am looking forward to: my friends shower!!
milestone: ??

recovering from the shower...

...saturday night

kenny and i ordered a double decker from babe's for dinner. there was NO WAY that i was going to cook dinner after the shower was over and i didn't want kenny to have to do it after all the work he'd done helping out with moving things around before and after the shower.

just a little side note about kenny...i'll try to tone down the sappiness, but i'm not making any promises...(nikki, just go ahead and skip the next paragraph so you don't "throw up a little in your mouth.")...

kenny is ABSOLUTELY AMAZING!! he's given up weekend after weekend for the last few months, working on various household projects that i want done but am not able to do by myself (trimming the prickly bushes and oak trees, re-mulching, cleaning the windows, cleaning and organizing the garage, making various aspects of carter's nursery...) all so that everything would be perfect before the showers (unfortunately, he couldn't do anything about the eternal freeze this winter that killed all of our pretty flowers...but he did buy me a new azalea bush with pink flowers for valentine's day so that there would be living flowers to greet the guests at the front door). not to mention, on the day of the family shower, he moved around all the furniture to accommodate our guests, he cleaned up his office (no verbal prompts necessary for all my bcba and bcaba readers out there) and he even put out fresh dishtowels, and not just ANY dishtowels, but my new spring-colored dishtowels in yellow and green to match the easter dishtowels hanging on the oven. what other man does these things?? all i know is i hope mine never stops being so thoughtful and sweet and that i always remember to appreciate the little things he does for me. he's going to make such a great dad--carter is going to be a very lucky little boy! okay...i'm done and need a tissue before moving on...

after everything was all cleaned up after the shower, kenny couldn't wait to see all of the gifts. it was fun showing him everything people got for carter. he wanted to start putting stuff together immediately, but i convinced him to wait until

...sunday

kenny put together the pack n play (thanks aunt sonja)--it's all set up in our room! it's kinda strange when i see it there, but it always makes me smile. it's so crazy that carter is going to be here in real life real soon!

kenny also put together the stroller for the travel system (thanks grandma mikita) and the activity mat from cheri. kenny really liked the activity mat. :)

then, before bed, we read carter his first story together (i read a page, he read a page...). kenny picked "Are You My Mother?". it was one of both of our favorites when we were small. it was fun and sweet--a memory i want to preserve, so it must be documented here. :)

our family shower

this past saturday was our family shower! my mom did a great job hosting the event and we got TONS of wonderful things!

showin' off my bump before guests arrived

mom surprised me by bringing my baby book and we displayed the family scrapbook that kenny's mom made for him for all the guests to look at. :) the perfect touch!

diaper cake from my mom and dad

the favors and the cake

gifts!!!

wearing my bow bonnet...courtesy of christine

kenny and i are SO GRATEFUL for all of the wonderful gifts we received!

grandma mikita, mom and aunt sonja

aunt jill, great-grandma stutz, mom and grandma heisserer

cheri, kenny's mom, aunt karen and sandra

christine, rose, mom and jill