__________________________________
my rings still don't fit...
and...
it's SO WEIRD having all this extra skin on my body!
and...
it's SO WEIRD having all this extra skin on my body!
Friday, April 23, 2010
a week ago today...
i gave birth.
i gave birth to a beautiful, perfect, sweet baby boy.
seven days ago i became a mommy, something i didn't think i was ready for but soon came to realize that id really been waiting for my whole life to be.
before carter was born, i was so worried that id be one of those women who don't love their baby immediately or that he'd be an "ugly" baby. i could not have been more wrong.
as soon as i laid eyes on carter brian, i memorized his face and was in awe that kenny and i created such a beautiful life. okay, maybe i'm romanticizing it a little bit--or rather, don't really remember how it all actually went down in those first few minutes, but there are a few things that i remember for certain and hope that i never forget:
(1) my first glimpse of carter: his mohawk
(2) laughing in between pushes and praising the epidural i'd received
(3) watching my stomach as his body left my body
(4) the softness of his skin
while i was laboring at home with kenny, i told kenny that he better enjoy this baby because there was NO WAY that i was going to do this again. about a minute after carter was born, i informed kenny that i would do it again, as many times as he wanted, now that i've experienced childbirth with an epidural, and now that i've seen, smelled, and held something only him and i can make.
it hasn't been all puppy dogs and rainbows, but it's definitely been worth it. i want to keep this post all positive, so i'll save my breastfeeding woes and sleep deprivation for another post.
one of my most favorite things to do with carter is to smell his yawns. i know it sounds crazy, but i've never smelled something so sweet in all my life.
here's carter and daddy celebrating carter's "one week birthday". it was all daddy's idea, which makes me smile and count how lucky i am for having such a wonderful husband and great father for our son.
i gave birth to a beautiful, perfect, sweet baby boy.
seven days ago i became a mommy, something i didn't think i was ready for but soon came to realize that id really been waiting for my whole life to be.
before carter was born, i was so worried that id be one of those women who don't love their baby immediately or that he'd be an "ugly" baby. i could not have been more wrong.
as soon as i laid eyes on carter brian, i memorized his face and was in awe that kenny and i created such a beautiful life. okay, maybe i'm romanticizing it a little bit--or rather, don't really remember how it all actually went down in those first few minutes, but there are a few things that i remember for certain and hope that i never forget:
(1) my first glimpse of carter: his mohawk
(2) laughing in between pushes and praising the epidural i'd received
(3) watching my stomach as his body left my body
(4) the softness of his skin
while i was laboring at home with kenny, i told kenny that he better enjoy this baby because there was NO WAY that i was going to do this again. about a minute after carter was born, i informed kenny that i would do it again, as many times as he wanted, now that i've experienced childbirth with an epidural, and now that i've seen, smelled, and held something only him and i can make.
it hasn't been all puppy dogs and rainbows, but it's definitely been worth it. i want to keep this post all positive, so i'll save my breastfeeding woes and sleep deprivation for another post.
one of my most favorite things to do with carter is to smell his yawns. i know it sounds crazy, but i've never smelled something so sweet in all my life.
here's carter and daddy celebrating carter's "one week birthday". it was all daddy's idea, which makes me smile and count how lucky i am for having such a wonderful husband and great father for our son.
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
carter FINALLY made it!
carter brian zoodsmaborn friday, april 16th, 2010
at 11:23 am
weighing 7 lbs 11 ozs
measuring 21.5 inches long
_______________________
maybe one day i'll get around to writing out the whole "birth story"...
until then, to see updates on carter, visit carter's blog.
until then, to see updates on carter, visit carter's blog.
_______________________
and before i forget, we must settle who won "a day of no diaper changes."
our predictions:
kz - april 10th, 2010; 7lbs 2ozs; 18in long
az - march 23rd, 2010; 7lbs 9ozs; 21in long
i guess that means that mommy won! yay! but it doesn't seem right to actually claim the prize. maybe i'll use it if i'm sick one day. ;)
our predictions:
kz - april 10th, 2010; 7lbs 2ozs; 18in long
az - march 23rd, 2010; 7lbs 9ozs; 21in long
i guess that means that mommy won! yay! but it doesn't seem right to actually claim the prize. maybe i'll use it if i'm sick one day. ;)
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
today's biophysical profile
today was the dreaded appointment, but i'm happy to report that things went very well.
we started with an ultrasound. the tech checked many things...one of the "bonus" checks she did was to see how big carter was. according to her calculations, he's about 9lbs 2ozs. thankfully, these are merely (slightly-educated) guesses and his actual size can vary up to a pound or more on either side of the guess--er calculation.
i'm thinking carter will be just at 8lbs at the largest. :) he'll be a good-size baby and should fill out his newborn-size coming home outfit beautifully (that is, if i can get it on him, as my mom has so kindly pointed out numerous times [and why he now has three possible coming home outfits that are of varying degrees of ease to put on a fussy newborn.]) :) we also got a couple of shots of carter during the ultrasound. here's my favorite.
{{his nose looks HUGE and his lips are SO pouty, but i'm not gonna lie, i secretly hope that the ultrasound is over-exaggerating the size of his nose or that he at least grows into it in the next few days because it is NOT proportional compared to the rest of his face. ;) }}
_____________
after the ultrasound, i had my non-stress test done. i was monitored for maybe 20-30ish minutes and they let me drink apple juice during the test. i guzzled two containers of ice cold apple juice to help him move around so the test would finish as quickly as possible; i'd been warned in the beginning that the test could take as long as 2 hours and i was getting hungry for some mexican food! here i am before it got started, courtesy of kz's iphone.
after the monitoring, the midwife came in to discuss the results of the BPP, discuss our options, and perform an internal exam. the midwife on-call was the chick who told me to lay off the carbs after i'd gained 14 lbs in 6 wks around the holidays, but it was cool--she was super awesome! she told us that carter scored an 8 out of 10 and that they only thing that he didn't do was imitate breathing, which apparently is common and no reason for concern.
the midwife then did the internal exam and i *think* she stripped my membranes. she said she was going to give me a "cervical massage" and shortly thereafter the discomfort ensued. the midwife said that i was still about the same--a "good one" cm dilated and 70-75% effaced. she said that there was a good chance that i had progressed from last week because she knows from past experience that the midwife who did my internal exam last week is very generous when giving out the numbers (i.e. the midwife last week would say 5cm but the midwife i saw today would say 2cm). whatever. it is what it is. i'm not worried about it at this point.
all in all, the tests done today bought us time--carter has less than 48 hours to make his appearance on his own so he better get a move on! the midwife today said that i should do whatever i can do to help him on his way--that there's a good chance that they will not let me leave on thursday. she suggested that i take some time and meditate and talk to carter and let him know that we are ready for him. i know it sounds a little bit out there, but i think she's right. now, if only i could say that and mean it...
we started with an ultrasound. the tech checked many things...one of the "bonus" checks she did was to see how big carter was. according to her calculations, he's about 9lbs 2ozs. thankfully, these are merely (slightly-educated) guesses and his actual size can vary up to a pound or more on either side of the guess--er calculation.
i'm thinking carter will be just at 8lbs at the largest. :) he'll be a good-size baby and should fill out his newborn-size coming home outfit beautifully (that is, if i can get it on him, as my mom has so kindly pointed out numerous times [and why he now has three possible coming home outfits that are of varying degrees of ease to put on a fussy newborn.]) :) we also got a couple of shots of carter during the ultrasound. here's my favorite.
{{his nose looks HUGE and his lips are SO pouty, but i'm not gonna lie, i secretly hope that the ultrasound is over-exaggerating the size of his nose or that he at least grows into it in the next few days because it is NOT proportional compared to the rest of his face. ;) }}after the ultrasound, i had my non-stress test done. i was monitored for maybe 20-30ish minutes and they let me drink apple juice during the test. i guzzled two containers of ice cold apple juice to help him move around so the test would finish as quickly as possible; i'd been warned in the beginning that the test could take as long as 2 hours and i was getting hungry for some mexican food! here i am before it got started, courtesy of kz's iphone.
after the monitoring, the midwife came in to discuss the results of the BPP, discuss our options, and perform an internal exam. the midwife on-call was the chick who told me to lay off the carbs after i'd gained 14 lbs in 6 wks around the holidays, but it was cool--she was super awesome! she told us that carter scored an 8 out of 10 and that they only thing that he didn't do was imitate breathing, which apparently is common and no reason for concern.
the midwife then did the internal exam and i *think* she stripped my membranes. she said she was going to give me a "cervical massage" and shortly thereafter the discomfort ensued. the midwife said that i was still about the same--a "good one" cm dilated and 70-75% effaced. she said that there was a good chance that i had progressed from last week because she knows from past experience that the midwife who did my internal exam last week is very generous when giving out the numbers (i.e. the midwife last week would say 5cm but the midwife i saw today would say 2cm). whatever. it is what it is. i'm not worried about it at this point.
all in all, the tests done today bought us time--carter has less than 48 hours to make his appearance on his own so he better get a move on! the midwife today said that i should do whatever i can do to help him on his way--that there's a good chance that they will not let me leave on thursday. she suggested that i take some time and meditate and talk to carter and let him know that we are ready for him. i know it sounds a little bit out there, but i think she's right. now, if only i could say that and mean it...
Monday, April 12, 2010
i'm better now...so i'll talk about the weekend, etc....
((no, i didn't watch gossip girl yet, but i plan on watching it soon...while i give my belly a 30 min massage with a mixture of clary sage oil and almond oil to try to induce labor naturally.))
...friday night...
DATE NIGHT!! we keep treating ourselves to all of these date nights, thinking that each one will be the last and then, nothing happens with carter and before we know it, another week has rolled around. :)
we went to wasabi for dinner and had a horrible-for-us but delicious-tasting hibachi dinner. mmmm... then, on the way home, we swung by cold stone for my new favorite--a kids size cup of chocolate ice cream with chocolate chips mixed in and a kid cone on top! double mmm... and then we watched two episodes of breaking bad. at the rate we're watching them and at the rate carter is NOT coming out, we're gonna be all caught up and ready to watch this season while we're in the hosptial, which won't be possible!
...saturday...
we slept in and went to mimi's for lunch and ran a few errands. on the way home, kenny's mom called us and invited us over to cheri's. we had a nice time...i was able to get in the hot tub (i say "hot tub", but the heater hadn't be turned on, so it really wasn't a hot tub, it was more of a kiddie pool with bubbles). it was very nice!
after hanging out at cheri's, we stopped for pizza at red elephant and then made our way home. we watched "glory road" on apple tv...a feel-good movie about texas western university and how they were the first school to start five black players in an NCAA tournament.
...sunday...
the most notable part of sunday, besides kenny being a super-amazing husband and doing a bunch of little things around the house and making most of dinner, was how kenny was a super-amazing husband and researched more about clary sage oil and insisted on giving me a nice long massage with the oil mixture (to induce labor) before a nice long bath with clary sage oil. :) i felt great after all of it, but carter didn't budge. :( oh well, i plan on breaking out the breast pump later this evening to see if some nipple stimulation will do the trick, that is, if my belly massage doesn't do the trick! :)
before i go, i'll leave you with a pic. i didn't bother putting on a different "outfit" for this pic...i just decided to take it in what i was already wearing. told ya i was feeling lazy.
{{-7 days to go.}}
{{{7 days?? 'til carter's evicted.}}}
...friday night...
DATE NIGHT!! we keep treating ourselves to all of these date nights, thinking that each one will be the last and then, nothing happens with carter and before we know it, another week has rolled around. :)
we went to wasabi for dinner and had a horrible-for-us but delicious-tasting hibachi dinner. mmmm... then, on the way home, we swung by cold stone for my new favorite--a kids size cup of chocolate ice cream with chocolate chips mixed in and a kid cone on top! double mmm... and then we watched two episodes of breaking bad. at the rate we're watching them and at the rate carter is NOT coming out, we're gonna be all caught up and ready to watch this season while we're in the hosptial, which won't be possible!
...saturday...
we slept in and went to mimi's for lunch and ran a few errands. on the way home, kenny's mom called us and invited us over to cheri's. we had a nice time...i was able to get in the hot tub (i say "hot tub", but the heater hadn't be turned on, so it really wasn't a hot tub, it was more of a kiddie pool with bubbles). it was very nice!
after hanging out at cheri's, we stopped for pizza at red elephant and then made our way home. we watched "glory road" on apple tv...a feel-good movie about texas western university and how they were the first school to start five black players in an NCAA tournament.
...sunday...
the most notable part of sunday, besides kenny being a super-amazing husband and doing a bunch of little things around the house and making most of dinner, was how kenny was a super-amazing husband and researched more about clary sage oil and insisted on giving me a nice long massage with the oil mixture (to induce labor) before a nice long bath with clary sage oil. :) i felt great after all of it, but carter didn't budge. :( oh well, i plan on breaking out the breast pump later this evening to see if some nipple stimulation will do the trick, that is, if my belly massage doesn't do the trick! :)
before i go, i'll leave you with a pic. i didn't bother putting on a different "outfit" for this pic...i just decided to take it in what i was already wearing. told ya i was feeling lazy.
{{-7 days to go.}}{{{7 days?? 'til carter's evicted.}}}
hmm...blah...41 wks...
so...
today is 41 wks.
i'm feeling pretty down/bummy/not motivated to do anything and tired (even though i slept from 12am - 9:30am...with about 8 pee breaks in between of course).
i keep thinking about the appointment tomorrow. hallie seems to think that they're likely going to find a reason to induce me. i keep on holding out hope that they'll at least let me come home and wait it out for a few more days...or at least i thought so. i'm starting to get a little bit impatient about this whole thing. maybe it'd be best if they did just induce me and get him out.
one of my tickers has said for the last week that i should basically chill out, most first babies come 8 days after their due date if they're not induced beforehand. well, that would mean carter should be here tomorrow. i asked kenny, what if i start having contractions/am in the early stages of labor but have to go for my stupid appointment tomorrow morning at tgh before i'm ready to be at the hospital. i could totally see that happening. whatever. i worry about too much.
i think i'm gonna go watch the last two episodes of gossip girl i have on dvr. maybe that'll cheer me up.
maybe i'll post a 41 wk picture later if i'm feeling up to it. but i refuse to update my pregnancy belly progression photo...unless they let me go to 42 wks and i can take a photo next monday to keep it even.
today is 41 wks.
i'm feeling pretty down/bummy/not motivated to do anything and tired (even though i slept from 12am - 9:30am...with about 8 pee breaks in between of course).
i keep thinking about the appointment tomorrow. hallie seems to think that they're likely going to find a reason to induce me. i keep on holding out hope that they'll at least let me come home and wait it out for a few more days...or at least i thought so. i'm starting to get a little bit impatient about this whole thing. maybe it'd be best if they did just induce me and get him out.
one of my tickers has said for the last week that i should basically chill out, most first babies come 8 days after their due date if they're not induced beforehand. well, that would mean carter should be here tomorrow. i asked kenny, what if i start having contractions/am in the early stages of labor but have to go for my stupid appointment tomorrow morning at tgh before i'm ready to be at the hospital. i could totally see that happening. whatever. i worry about too much.
i think i'm gonna go watch the last two episodes of gossip girl i have on dvr. maybe that'll cheer me up.
maybe i'll post a 41 wk picture later if i'm feeling up to it. but i refuse to update my pregnancy belly progression photo...unless they let me go to 42 wks and i can take a photo next monday to keep it even.
Friday, April 9, 2010
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
40 wk appt
yesterday was my 40 wk appointment.
unfortunately, there hasn't been any progress from last week. me and carter are still in the same position(s).
they scheduled a non-stress test and ultrasound for next tuesday morning (if he's still in there). hopefully my fluid level and placenta will look good and they'll send me home to wait a little longer, but there's a chance that they'll admit me and induce me then.
unfortunately, there hasn't been any progress from last week. me and carter are still in the same position(s).
they scheduled a non-stress test and ultrasound for next tuesday morning (if he's still in there). hopefully my fluid level and placenta will look good and they'll send me home to wait a little longer, but there's a chance that they'll admit me and induce me then.
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
40 wk update
so here we are. i made it to 40 wks! who would've thought it? now we just have to wait and see if carter will come out on his own (like everyone seems to think) or if he'll need a little facilitation. i'm REALLY hoping that my body or his body or whoever's body is in charge of him coming out on his own gets it going before the time is up for him being in my belly!
here's a quick update on predictions before i get on with the update:
my dad: this thursday, april 8th
kennyz: this saturday, april 10th
lauren (midwfie): this saturday, april 10th
hallie (doula): sometime this week
who knows, but i'm hoping that i have at least a few more days to wrap some things up around here...
______
{{0 days to go.}}
{{{14 days until "forced" induction.}}}
_________
how far along: 40 weeks (and 1 day since i didn't get a chance to post this yesterday...we were busy celebrating our 2 year anniversary)
total weight gain/loss: +36.4 lbs
circumference at belly button: 40 inches at 40 weeks. when kenny did the measuring he was like "uhhh...you're not gonna like this" but i kinda like it--it's symmetrical.
how big baby is: he should be the size of a watermelon these days--or at least that's what i keep telling myself so i don't feel so bad about the weight gain! he could weigh as much as 9.2 lbs right now and be as long as 20.9 inches! my guess is that he is about that long, but a coupla pounds under that weight.
maternity clothes: or kenny's clothes when i'm around the house...since most of my comfy maternity clothes are packed in the hospital bag.
stretch marks: not yet i don't think--or at least that's what the midwife said last week--she couldn't believe how good i looked for my state of pregnancy. i'm not gonna lie...it made me feel a little good inside for about a nanosecond. i guess she failed to look at the chart and see that i've gained nearly 40 pounds!
sleep: blah! i sleep, but not for longer than 2 hours at a time.
best moment this week: i'd just say this whole past weekend in general...easter at the beach was great and then our anniversary day and night yesterday was awesome! i'm so lucky to have such a wonderful husband!!
movement: yep...he's still moving in there...but a lot of times lately his movements result in him hitting nerves in my pelvis which result in horrible pains in my inner thigh or butt cheek...good thing they typically only last a second or two!
food cravings: not really
gender: a little boy
labor signs: nope, at least not for real. i was having pretty regular braxton hicks the other night at dinner at bonefish, but they settled down once i started moving around (and got some chocolate ice cream with chocolate chips from coldstone in me)!
belly button: i guess it's still in--it looks REALLY CREEPY though. i don't know if that part of my body will ever be normal again, i just HOPE that my belly button goes back to being in the MIDDLE of my belly as it should be.
what i miss: sleeping through the night...my old posture...my old clothes...being thin...wearing high heels...non-arthritic fingers and hands...
what i am looking forward to: i don't know that i'm really looking forward to giving birth, but i am looking forward to meeting our little guy...seeing him...hearing him...smelling him...and being a mommy. :)
here's a quick update on predictions before i get on with the update:
my dad: this thursday, april 8th
kennyz: this saturday, april 10th
lauren (midwfie): this saturday, april 10th
hallie (doula): sometime this week
who knows, but i'm hoping that i have at least a few more days to wrap some things up around here...
______
{{0 days to go.}}{{{14 days until "forced" induction.}}}
how far along: 40 weeks (and 1 day since i didn't get a chance to post this yesterday...we were busy celebrating our 2 year anniversary)
total weight gain/loss: +36.4 lbs
circumference at belly button: 40 inches at 40 weeks. when kenny did the measuring he was like "uhhh...you're not gonna like this" but i kinda like it--it's symmetrical.
how big baby is: he should be the size of a watermelon these days--or at least that's what i keep telling myself so i don't feel so bad about the weight gain! he could weigh as much as 9.2 lbs right now and be as long as 20.9 inches! my guess is that he is about that long, but a coupla pounds under that weight.
maternity clothes: or kenny's clothes when i'm around the house...since most of my comfy maternity clothes are packed in the hospital bag.
stretch marks: not yet i don't think--or at least that's what the midwife said last week--she couldn't believe how good i looked for my state of pregnancy. i'm not gonna lie...it made me feel a little good inside for about a nanosecond. i guess she failed to look at the chart and see that i've gained nearly 40 pounds!
sleep: blah! i sleep, but not for longer than 2 hours at a time.
best moment this week: i'd just say this whole past weekend in general...easter at the beach was great and then our anniversary day and night yesterday was awesome! i'm so lucky to have such a wonderful husband!!
movement: yep...he's still moving in there...but a lot of times lately his movements result in him hitting nerves in my pelvis which result in horrible pains in my inner thigh or butt cheek...good thing they typically only last a second or two!
food cravings: not really
gender: a little boy
labor signs: nope, at least not for real. i was having pretty regular braxton hicks the other night at dinner at bonefish, but they settled down once i started moving around (and got some chocolate ice cream with chocolate chips from coldstone in me)!
belly button: i guess it's still in--it looks REALLY CREEPY though. i don't know if that part of my body will ever be normal again, i just HOPE that my belly button goes back to being in the MIDDLE of my belly as it should be.
what i miss: sleeping through the night...my old posture...my old clothes...being thin...wearing high heels...non-arthritic fingers and hands...
what i am looking forward to: i don't know that i'm really looking forward to giving birth, but i am looking forward to meeting our little guy...seeing him...hearing him...smelling him...and being a mommy. :)
Monday, April 5, 2010
our easter sunday
yesterday was easter and due to carter's upcoming due date, we decided that we didn't want to venture too far from tgh in the event i needed the hospital. this meant that we could not go up to the farm in jacksonville to see kenny's sister cyndi (where and whom i just LOVE). while i was bummed about missing out on seeing kenny's family, i don't think i would've enjoyed the long drive up and back--i probably would've been pretty tired and grouchy.
since, we couldn't make that trip, we asked kenny's sister cheri what she was up to (since 30 minutes from our house was about as far as we were willing to go), but drew had come down with a fever after their return home from their wonderful vacation in jackson hole.
we were already seeing my family for dinner so we just needed "plans" until about 4pm.
so we thought...
and we thought...
and we decided to pack a cooler and go to the beach just the two of us!
we wound up at fort desoto (yes, i realize that this is more than 30 minutes from our house, but shhhhh) and we had a great time (even though my favorite beach chair is a little too low to the ground at 9 months after getting up and down to pee every 20 minutes). :)
since we went to the beach, i was able to get this comparison shot, which i was VERY HAPPY about--that is, until i got home and looked at the photo i was comparing it to and realized i looked like a whale on the beach all day. oh well, i felt like i was rockin' the two-piece while i was there and i guess that's all that matters. the poor people whose retinas i burned, well, hopefully the damage i did isn't irreparable.
since, we couldn't make that trip, we asked kenny's sister cheri what she was up to (since 30 minutes from our house was about as far as we were willing to go), but drew had come down with a fever after their return home from their wonderful vacation in jackson hole.
we were already seeing my family for dinner so we just needed "plans" until about 4pm.
so we thought...
and we thought...
and we decided to pack a cooler and go to the beach just the two of us!
we wound up at fort desoto (yes, i realize that this is more than 30 minutes from our house, but shhhhh) and we had a great time (even though my favorite beach chair is a little too low to the ground at 9 months after getting up and down to pee every 20 minutes). :)
since we went to the beach, i was able to get this comparison shot, which i was VERY HAPPY about--that is, until i got home and looked at the photo i was comparing it to and realized i looked like a whale on the beach all day. oh well, i felt like i was rockin' the two-piece while i was there and i guess that's all that matters. the poor people whose retinas i burned, well, hopefully the damage i did isn't irreparable.
he's DUE!! (and we've been married 2 yrs today!)
carter is due today--i made it to 40 wks!
so many people thought that carter would come early...and here we are. now we just have to wait and see if he'll leave the womb on his own in the next two weeks!
::fingers crossed::
so many people thought that carter would come early...and here we are. now we just have to wait and see if he'll leave the womb on his own in the next two weeks!
::fingers crossed::
Thursday, April 1, 2010
it's officially april...
so no blue tinted jewels for me...
at least not for this baby...
but wait,
are there blue diamonds??
j/k i wouldn't want colored diamonds, because then it's not a diamond--it's a diamond trying to be like something else. plus, aquamarine is SO MUCH cheaper than a blue diamond would be (if they existed)...i wouldn't be able to justify it.
______
on another note...
i promise that if "the call" or "the text" goes out today--it WILL NOT be an april fool's day joke!
at least not for this baby...
but wait,
are there blue diamonds??
j/k i wouldn't want colored diamonds, because then it's not a diamond--it's a diamond trying to be like something else. plus, aquamarine is SO MUCH cheaper than a blue diamond would be (if they existed)...i wouldn't be able to justify it.
______
on another note...
i promise that if "the call" or "the text" goes out today--it WILL NOT be an april fool's day joke!
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