we have a doula!

last friday night we finally met hallie in person. honestly, after i spoke to her on the phone, it was pretty much a done deal in my mind--she was going to be our doula, but she wanted to meet in person and make sure we clicked face-to-face since we'll be seeing a lot of her face in the delivery room. plus, kenny was still a little skeptical as to whether it really was "necessary" to have a doula since we both originally wanted it to be only him and i in the room during labor and delivery (and medical staff as necessary of course). after i decided that we needed a doula though, he still wasn't so sure.

the meeting went well but i couldn't read kenny during the meeting and we didn't come up with a secret signal beforehand (yes, we do that--or at least talk about doing it), so when he asked if i was ready to sign the contract, i said we'd get back to her because i didn't know if he was just saying that because he knew that i wanted a doula and he was counting it as my "free pass." after debriefing at dinner (mmmmm Seasons 52) we decided that we wanted her to be there on the big day. plus, we learned some stuff that we never would've thought to do just from our short meeting with her which seemed to impress kenny.

we're trying to set up our next meeting with her (time is winding down though) where she'll come to our house (so she knows where it is, since i'd like to labor at home as long as possible before going to the hospital) and we'll get into things a little more.

knowing that hallie is available also alleviates some of my fears of going into labor while kenny is out of town in a few weeks. i know that the average amount of time that a first time mom is pregnant is 41 wks 1 day, but there's still a chance that i could go into labor while he's in atlanta. i probably shouldn't think of such things, but i have to always be prepared so i know what to do in the event of an emergency... :)

34 wks

{{42 days to go.}}

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how far along: 34 weeks 1 day
total weight gain/loss: +29 lbs
waist circumference: this must remain a secret until after the friends shower...
how big baby is: almost the size of a honeydew! about 17.2 inches and 4.2 lbs!
maternity clothes: yep...pretty much all the time
stretch marks: nope
sleep: we'll just say "interrupted"
best moment this week: reading carter his first story with kenny
movement: this morning it felt like he might've had the hiccups after my super-nutritious mcdonalds breakfast of an egg and cheese biscuit, a hashbrown and some cinnamon melts (some pregnant lady was RAVING about these the other day, so i thought i'd try 'em. verdict: not worth the calories for the taste)
food cravings: not really
gender: boy
labor signs: it's still too early for that!
belly button: still in
what i miss: being able to have a full day and not be exhausted at 7pm!
what i am looking forward to: my friends shower!!
milestone: ??

recovering from the shower...

...saturday night

kenny and i ordered a double decker from babe's for dinner. there was NO WAY that i was going to cook dinner after the shower was over and i didn't want kenny to have to do it after all the work he'd done helping out with moving things around before and after the shower.

just a little side note about kenny...i'll try to tone down the sappiness, but i'm not making any promises...(nikki, just go ahead and skip the next paragraph so you don't "throw up a little in your mouth.")...

kenny is ABSOLUTELY AMAZING!! he's given up weekend after weekend for the last few months, working on various household projects that i want done but am not able to do by myself (trimming the prickly bushes and oak trees, re-mulching, cleaning the windows, cleaning and organizing the garage, making various aspects of carter's nursery...) all so that everything would be perfect before the showers (unfortunately, he couldn't do anything about the eternal freeze this winter that killed all of our pretty flowers...but he did buy me a new azalea bush with pink flowers for valentine's day so that there would be living flowers to greet the guests at the front door). not to mention, on the day of the family shower, he moved around all the furniture to accommodate our guests, he cleaned up his office (no verbal prompts necessary for all my bcba and bcaba readers out there) and he even put out fresh dishtowels, and not just ANY dishtowels, but my new spring-colored dishtowels in yellow and green to match the easter dishtowels hanging on the oven. what other man does these things?? all i know is i hope mine never stops being so thoughtful and sweet and that i always remember to appreciate the little things he does for me. he's going to make such a great dad--carter is going to be a very lucky little boy! okay...i'm done and need a tissue before moving on...

after everything was all cleaned up after the shower, kenny couldn't wait to see all of the gifts. it was fun showing him everything people got for carter. he wanted to start putting stuff together immediately, but i convinced him to wait until

...sunday

kenny put together the pack n play (thanks aunt sonja)--it's all set up in our room! it's kinda strange when i see it there, but it always makes me smile. it's so crazy that carter is going to be here in real life real soon!

kenny also put together the stroller for the travel system (thanks grandma mikita) and the activity mat from cheri. kenny really liked the activity mat. :)

then, before bed, we read carter his first story together (i read a page, he read a page...). kenny picked "Are You My Mother?". it was one of both of our favorites when we were small. it was fun and sweet--a memory i want to preserve, so it must be documented here. :)

our family shower

this past saturday was our family shower! my mom did a great job hosting the event and we got TONS of wonderful things!

showin' off my bump before guests arrived

mom surprised me by bringing my baby book and we displayed the family scrapbook that kenny's mom made for him for all the guests to look at. :) the perfect touch!

diaper cake from my mom and dad

the favors and the cake

gifts!!!

wearing my bow bonnet...courtesy of christine

kenny and i are SO GRATEFUL for all of the wonderful gifts we received!

grandma mikita, mom and aunt sonja

aunt jill, great-grandma stutz, mom and grandma heisserer

cheri, kenny's mom, aunt karen and sandra

christine, rose, mom and jill

i guess mother nature is preparing me for what's ahead

last night i went to bed around midnight.

i woke up at 1:30am...

got up and peed and then went back to sleep.

i woke up at 3:30am...

got up and peed and went back to sleep.

i woke up at 5:30am (noticing a pattern yet??)...

got up and peed and went back to sleep.

i woke up at 7:40am (thanks to kenny's alarm)...

got up and peed and went back to sleep.

i woke up at 9:30am...

got up and peed and started the day.

_____

this is going to be my normal sleep routine very soon--except instead of just getting up and just peeing (which takes like--all of two minutes tops), i'm going to have to get up and feed a newborn and get him to go back to sleep before i can go back to sleep...

hmmm....

i guess it's too late to tap out now...

carter's on his way to "honeydew" size!

which just blows my mind that something like that is inside my belly. still. i just can't believe it!

today's ticker says...

"the amount of amniotic fluid has reached its maximum"

so does that mean...

my weight reached it's maximum?

...

i know the answer is no--the baby is going to continue to grow

but a pregnant lady can dream, right?

i hate that i can't do things b/c im pregnant

no, i'm not referring to alcohol...

or non-decaf tall one-pump cinnamon dolce non fat no whip white mochas from the bux...

or even tuna fish sandwiches from panera bread.

i'm talking about not being able to hang out with my friends when they get upper respiratory infections because i MIGHT get sick (and then take FOREVER to get better). :(

oh well, what can i do but pout? not a thing. not a damn thing.

some comparisons for the world to see...

and in case 18wks vs. 32wks wasn't a drastic enough change for ya...


all i can think of--okay the only two things i can think of--when i look at myself at 10wks vs. 32wks is (1) wow, i didn't look half bad back at 10wks and (2) i HAVE GOT to schedule a haircut!!

it's official...

i deserve a badge that says, "it's not my fault; i suffer from pregnancy brain" or "i'm really not trying to suck at being a wife, i'm just pregnant."

and here's why...

kenny and i had plans to be at an FSU event at 7pm, so before i left to run my gajillion errands this morning, i threw a roast in the slow cooker. while i was out, i couldn't remember if i plugged the slow cooker in before i left, but i was able to breathe a sigh of relief when i opened the door and was greeted with the oh-so-sweet aroma of pepsi pot roast.

at 5:45pm, as i was placing the paper towels on the bar to bring them to the table, i saw the potatoes (that were SUPPOSED to be in the slow cooker, ready to be covered in butter and eaten) still sitting on the bar next to the salt and pepper shakers. seriously?? did i REALLY forget the BEST part of this meal?? how is that even possible??

good thing kenny's super laid back--i think i was more upset than he was (or he at least knows how to deal with a forgetful, pregnant lady). plus, i think he was excited b/c he was able to have a second roll, since i forgot the potatoes. how did i wind up with such a great guy and how will i EVER let myself live this one down...

32 wks

i can't believe i'm 32 wks pregnant! that means that carter should be here in two months! in eight weeks! in sixty days!! holy whoa! i don't know if i'm ready--and the kicker is, he may be here BEFORE THEN! here's what the bump is lookin' like these days (beware: it's a bare bump shot, for those who'd rather not scroll down and see ALL that)...

{{56 days to go.}}

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how far along: 32 weeks 2 days
total weight gain/loss: +26 lbs
waist circumference: 37ish inches
how big baby is: the size of a squash! about 16.7 inches and 3.8 lbs!
maternity clothes: are essential. kenny got me a few "sleep bras" a few weeks ago and they have been AWESOME! and i've started wearing chenelle's old v.s. bras when i go out. it's so nice to be able to breathe again (and have friends with bigger boobies who don't mind loaning out a couple of their bras to the pregnant lady)
stretch marks: still no
sleep: pretty much the same...but lately i've been waking up to pee at like--7:40am EVERY morning and that's pretty irritating.
best moment this week: seeing carter again (even though he wasn't cooperating AT ALL)
movement: guaranteed after consuming an ice cream sandwich or taking a sip of lemonade or ice cold water
food cravings: i don't think they're cravings really, just the minor indulgences that i would've had occasionally pre-pregnancy (i.e. the chocolate pastry i ordered today at panera)
gender: boy
labor signs: nothin' so far
belly button: still in barely; kenny's finally changed his mind and voiced that my button may only be an innie for a little while longer...
what i miss: being littler...hmmmm...i will not go look at my 10 wk picture, i will not go look at my 10 wk picture...
what i am looking forward to: the SHOWERS!! and meeting the doula on thursday!!
milestone: i think i felt my first ever braxton hick contraction(s) two nights ago! it was a strange feeling (and couldn't've happened at a more inconvenient time!!)

3d/4d ultrasound

yesterday we went for what will likely be our last chance to see carter before he's out of my belly. i was so excited that i was up for almost two hours the night before (between 5am and 6:30am), which was quite annoying.

my parents and kenny's parents came to the ultrasound to get a fresh glimpse of carter. we all had high expectations which unfortunately, weren't met (in my opinion).

the good news...

...carter's heart is beating at 157 bpm, which is right where it's been the whole pregnancy and completely within the "normal" range

...my amniotic fluid was nice and clear, which is great for photos

...carter is not breech--or at least not as of yesterday :)

the bad news...

...carter was NOT interested in cooperating AT ALL

...he would not move out of his nice little ball. he was turned so that his back was to my belly (his tummy toward my spine). kenny said he read somewhere that it's pretty common for women with anterior placenta to deliver babies sunny-side up, i guess b/c the baby doesn't like the placenta all up in his face, which would explain his position.

...when carter FINALLY got into a position that would allow for a facial photo, he proceeded to grab onto his ear and not let go or put a foot in his face to block the shot.

...we did not get a shot of his boy parts again like i wanted, just so there would be NO surprises in the delivery room, as he was sitting criss-cross (when his foot wasn't in his eye).

...he didn't look as cute as he did at the 20wk ultrasound (the pic in the banner). kenny said he thinks it was just because the guy doing the scan was WAY zoomed in and over-correcting the scan to try and get SOMETHING.

here are the "best" pictures we got...

carter blocking the camera with his foot

carter holding his ear

carter with a funny-looking nose

our final class and a creepy dream

last night's class was exceptionally heinous. we started with what to expect postpartum. i cannot even describe the horrible things that were discussed, as it will CERTAINLY scar any woman that has not been pregnant/given birth before and might already be a little squeamish about the idea (heather v. and becky come to mind <-- yes becky, i still have faith that you might change your mind one day ;) ). my recommendation for those ladies out there who fall into this category--wait until AFTER you're already pregnant to find out all of these GLORIOUS DETAILS b/c then you'll be past the point of return.

it is FOR CERTAIN that had i known ALL of this, i DEFINITELY would have raised my requirements of what needed to be done prior to talk of conception--kenny DEFINITELY got off easy on this one! i'm the one who messed up really, if only i'd done my homework, i would've known that it would be perfectly acceptable to ask for at least 2 trips abroad and maybe one domestic trip. oh well, our trip to greece was amazing and i'm lucky we were able to do that! :)

i must say though, that being pregnant really hasn't been that bad. weeks 6 and 7 sucked, but after that, it's been pretty smooth sailing. ::knock on wood:: but being pregnant has never been the problem, it's gettin' the sucker outta there that's the tricky part. however, i *think* that what is to come--meeting the being that only kenny and i could create and adding another being to our lives--will outweigh the postpartum stuff (and the lack of freedom to go wherever we feel like and do whatever we feel like, even if it's life-threatening, and the inability to sleep in on the weekends or go out on our weekly date night). all joking aside, i can't help but get a little teary-eyed when i daydream about carter's smile and watching kenny love carter and experiencing unconditional love in a new way and seeing a new life learn new things. :*) ::regathers composure::

enough with the sappy stuff...

on to the weirdest dream ever, likely due to the graphic nature of class last night...

i was on our boat with kenny when i felt something poking out of my lady area. i looked down and saw (let me just stop right here and say that at this point, it was clearly a dream--i can no longer look down and see ANYTHING but a bump) the pointy part of what looked like a dinosaur egg (that makes 2 pts for dream). i remember reaching down and touching it--it was really hard, but i didn't want to break it b/c i knew that my baby was inside it.

the next thing i knew, i'd given birth to the dinosaur egg--there was no pain (dream = 3 pts)--and i was waiting in the ER with my mom, holding my egg baby. i couldn't understand why i had to WAIT in the ER--i'd just given birth (to a dinosaur egg baby, no less), someone should look at my newborn! frustrated, i got up and took the egg baby to the first nurse i could find b/c i was worried that the egg baby was dead b/c it'd been out of my body for so long. the nurse cracked open the egg, and there was our baby (kenny must've still been out on the boat b/c he was only in the dream in the beginning). but the strange thing was, our "newborn baby" was the size of a newborn, but was able to hold up his head and sit up by himself. i was just so relieved that the baby was still alive, after being born in an egg and out of my body for so long.

the end.

any idea what any of that means?? maybe that our child will have a tough but fragile exterior??

in other news...

...we're seriously considering enlisting the help of a doula during labor and delivery. i know that kenny will be an amazing support person during that time, but i worry that it will be A LOT for him to do alone. plus, the poor guy will need to eat here and there and use the restroom, and i doubt he'll leave my side during that time if he'd be leaving me alone. ideally, agnes (the labor and delivery nurse teaching our childbirth education classes) would be there the whole time and shout out suggestions like--try this position, rub her here, have her sit on the birthing ball, etc., but the fact of the matter is that THAT DOES NOT HAPPEN in hospitals, so why not be proactive and find someone whose sole job it is to do just that?

we have a meeting next thursday evening with a doula we found online. she seemed awesome on the phone (we talked for at least an hour) and her goal is what i want--she wants her clients to say, after all is said and done that having a doula present during labor and delivery was great, but that the husband really was the hero and it couldn't've been done without him." she is there to support me, but even more so to support kenny, and i am SO EXCITED to meet her next week and see if we connect in person like we did on the phone!

...i REALLY WANT to have someone (ideally a professional) take photos during the labor, all the way through the golden hour. let me just say that kenny is NOT into this at all. he doesn't like the idea of another person being in the room, he worries they'll be intrusive, etc. so i tried to explain to him that the photographer would be professional and not talking to us at all, etc. he says that he'd rather just take the pictures, but i know that he'll get caught up in the moment and forget to take photos. plus, i'd really like for him to be in the pictures and he can't take the photos and be in the photos at the same time.

we're still working on some sort of agreement on this, but he said that since i'll be doing most of the work, i get one free pass to get my way without a peep from him, so as soon as i say that the photos are my free pass, he'll be quiet about it. i really can't think of anything else that i want (other than a dslr, which i don't think is even on the table right now), so i'm pretty much ready to say that THIS will be my free pass. plus, one bonus of the doula we're meeting next thursday states on her website that she will take photos during the process. that would be PERFECT but after speaking to her over the phone, it sounds like she's planning this year to upgrade her camera and really get into photography. obviously, anyone can take a photo, but after seeing some of the stuff done online, i'd really like to have a more experienced photographer do the photos (without the $2200 price tag of course), but i can't have everything i want and i really can't even entertain the thought of spending THAT MUCH on carter's birth day when we didn't even come close to spending that on our wedding day!

the namewall is finally complete

i FINALLY got off my lazy bum and finished the letters for carter's wall. kenny was out of town all last week, so it took me until this weekend, when he was home, to find a painter's pen that would make the cow prints that we were going for. my original idea of using a brown permanent marker didn't look right, but kenny insisted we go to michael's and look there and that's where he found the painter's pen. i didn't even know they made such things, but now that i know, i'll keep that in mind for baby z #2's room...whoa, i'm getting a little ahead of myself aren't, i? the first one isn't even out of the oven yet. anyway, without further ado, here's the finished wall...

31 wks

{{63 days to go.}}